Disclaimer: The author of this fanfiction does not, in any way, profit from the story. All creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).
Click Test
by Pout
Kamio had a fairly sophisticated screening process. There were the initial considerations: appearance, attitude, psychological stability. And then, there was the question of chemistry.
He had a click test and it involved kissing.
Take, for example, Shinji. He had avoided screwing up his entire relationship with his best friend of many years because as they were fooling around on his bed ‘experimenting,’ Kamio heard a choir of a hundred and twelve nuns in his ear. They had gone back to a purely platonic relationship and all was saved.
After Shinji, there had been Momoshiro. The sound of the school’s marching band cymbals nearly deafened him. He let his ears ring for a good week and a half, but ultimately, called things off.
With Sengoku, Kamio had been hard pressed to stop laughing as each time their lips met, he heard the sound of a duck squawking. That hadn’t gone so well. And the perpetual start of Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’ zinging in his ear (nee-nu-nee-nu) had disturbed him so much, he had nearly run screaming from Fuji’s room.
So, the speedster had to reevaluate things as he pulled away from Renji and heard absolutely nothing. He leaned in for a second trial. They parted, and again he heard silence. Renji asked if anything was wrong and Kamio kissed him again because he didn’t understand.
Kamio ran three hundred and fifty-eight trials over the next month before Renji’s kisses developed a sound: the sound of his own aroused panting.
The next day, Kamio happily informed Renji of his successful completion of the click test. Renji just laughed, then said, “Perhaps we’d better run a few more trials – just to confirm the results.” And Kamio had enthusiastically agreed.
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